I had planned to post this writing on Wednesday, although I already had it completed. Then I read Chris Spradley's obituary, and I knew in my bones that I needed to post this today. Had referenced Chris in this post as a quintessential "Child" archetype.
Here is the link to Christopher Spradley's obituary. http://broeckerfuneralhome.com/obits.html
Archetypal psychology has a few key practitioners in today’s
world. Not everyone responds to behavioral treatment, and so developed a need
for a different approach to helping our wounded psyches. In the archetypal
approach, there exists a belief in the “wild” side of ourselves. “Wild” is a
term that doesn’t draw good connotations in contemporary society, probably due
to the fact that our culture has devalued much that has to do with the nature
part of ourselves. When you look at the state of our environment, and how much
we still argue over what effects we have caused, it’s not hard to believe that
a suppression of the “natural” side of our inner life has been necessary to
perpetrate some of the things we have done to the earth in the name of
“progress” or “advancement.” In denying our natural side, we have slowly
exercised more and more control over our psyches, to the point where we make
virtually every decision based on logic without heeding our instincts or
intuition. My point here isn’t that logical thinking is bad; indeed, I find it
very useful most of the time. However, as I’ve tried to show in the past,
balance in a key to living a more satisfied life – a balance of logical
thinking and intuition. Where do we come by this elusive “intuition?” What if
we think our “instincts” are broken?
Very few of us experiences lives without neglect, overdomestication,
and feeling outlawed or no longer understood by the people who surround us. We
are BUSY – busy taking care of others, busy making money, busy buying the next
trendy gadget, busy online, busy with school work, busy socializing, busy running
the kids to all of their activities, busy, busy, busy. Our culture values
productivity, as if those who are prohibited by some unintentional limitation
are less valuable than most because they can’t “produce” as well. Have the
industrial and technological revolutions caused us to only appreciate ourselves
and each other based on what we can contribute to the GDP? More importantly,
how many times a day do we experience feelings of agitation, longing, despair,
and the impulse to act on those feelings? Do we keep ourselves busy to distract
ourselves from those feelings? Is the fatigue we experience at the end of the
day the fatigue from running on our hamster wheels so fast that we exhaust
ourselves, thereby getting rid of the impulse to think about those “wild”
feelings that agitate us during the day?
Stories, fairy tales, and mythology used to be how we
understood what parts of our lives were out of balance. Stories contain those archetypes that guide
us to our “wild” nature, our creative natures, our intuition and instincts.
Some will say all archetypes apply to your life at some point, and the stories
that appeal to you at any given time contain the archetypes you need. Others
will claim we all have four basic archetypes that define our lives throughout its
entirety. I make now decision about what you need to believe here; the nature
of symbolism is ethereal and intangible in its discussion, so it stands to
reason that you must decide for yourself what metaphors work for your own inner
healing.
Those who believe that four basic archetypes define us call
those archetypes the Child, the Victim, the Prostitute, and the Saboteur.
Today, I’d like to write about the Child. The Child represents that part of us
that is full of wonder and hope. Our Child longs to see things through the veil
of innocence and play. In our adult lives, the Child helps balance our adult
responsibilities. The Child in us brings out the best in others around us. Our
culture is so quick to dismiss “childishness” in behavior, yet we value it we
others exercise it upon us. You may have that friend who always brings a smile
to your face, always makes life a little brighter, always has a sense of
playfulness. This past week, a friend passed away in a freak accident – that
friend of mine embodied the Child archetype. If you need a character to think
of, think of Peter Pan, Winnie-the-Pooh, or Calvin of “Calvin and Hobbes.”
The Child helps us define our perceptions about life,
whether we are safe, defining our friends and sense of loyalty, and perceiving
who is “family.” The Wounded Child is one that holds memories of abuse,
neglect, abandonment, and other childhood traumas. This archetype may be the
most familiar to us because of its similarity to the explorations of modern
psychology into childhood trauma as it shapes our adult reactions. The positive
side of the Wounded Child is that we can grow a large sense of compassion for
others when we understand what we’ve suffered. The Wounded Child helps us find
our paths to forgiveness in its positive manifestation. The darker side
(remember, each archetype must maintain a balance) is characterized by an
indulgence in self-pity, a tendency to blame others (especially parents) and an
avoidance of finding our own solutions to our problems (lowered accountability). Sound familiar? J
The Orphan Child (the one which drives our hero in the
hero’s journey) is based in feelings of abandonment. We may have a real family,
but we feel like outsiders, black sheep, or outcasts in the group where we
“should” belong. On the positive side, the Orphan Child develops a sense of
independence very early and learns to rely on inner judgment based on
experiences. In the shadow side, the Orphan Child never gets over the feelings
of loss from the abandonment, leading to stifled maturation. The shadow Orphan
seeks a new family to counteract the abandonment of the original family. In
some ways, that path can lead to a positive establishment of a new family so
that Orphan then matures. In other cases, the new family leads the Orphan to a
further state of immaturity where mature relationships can’t be established
until the abandonment wounds deal with.
What is the current manifestation of The Child in your life?
Do you eagerly seek to bring some spontaneity and joy to others’ lives? Are you
one of those people who easily bring a smile to others? How far will you go to
set others at ease? What are those things you do that seem like they are
attempts to fill a void in your life? Have you found others with whom you just
“fit?” Do you still have issues of non-acceptance from your birth family? All
of these questions are questions for our Child within us. Many of us remember
the Christian saying that you must be like a child to enter the kingdom of
Heaven. Regardless of how literal or metaphysical you believe that statement to
be, the ATTITUDE of the child is necessary to reach the “heaven” state. When
brought into balance, we may be able to experience an eagerness and peace in
our lives. Our instincts will seek out playfulness and laughter.
I have posted a story about the Child on my blog, if you
want/need further illustration of this concept. Some of you will need that, and
some of you will understand this part of yourselves from the description I’ve
offered here. How you process is up to you!
J I
simply hope to set us on a path of thinking about ourselves in a way that
society has almost abandoned in favor or measurements and scientific “proof.”
Here is a smile, the only “proof” I can offer for intangible feelings. Share
your smile with as many people as you can today. It’s possible their Children
will respond to your Child. Wouldn’t that be nice?
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