Sprinkle those smiles everywhere! Yesterday, I posted a blog
that introduced the Child archetype. I will catch up with a story for that
Child on the blog site, don’t worry! Today I wanted to give you a description
of what Caroline Myss calls the Victim archetype. This is the second of four
archetype that make up our basic “inner” world.
The Victim shouldn’t come across to you as negatively as it
might sound. Like the Child plays an important part in how we perceive the
world with wonder and innocence, the Victim allows us to sense when we are
about to be taken advantage of, or when we are looking to take advantage of
others. The positive side of the Victim helps us establish healthy boundaries
so others don’t “drain” us of everything we have to offer. Many of us naturally
seek to help those in need; we must be careful not to give overly much, or
we’ll have nothing left for ourselves. When that happens, the shadow side of
the Victim comes forth through “playing” the victim, and sometime “martyring”
ourselves while blaming others for asking us to sacrifice for them. It’s always
healthy to question whether we have gone too far to help someone and put
ourselves in a bind. On the other hand, it is equally as healthy to ask
ourselves if we are shifting blame to someone else just to gain sympathy or
pity.
In the shadow, the Victim brings forth much of the
unnecessary drama we experience. We tend to feel that we are under personal
attack when situations don’t turn out how we expected. We look for someone to
blame – so we don’t have to accept responsibility or admit there are things we
just can’t control. Constant self-pity and sympathetic attention-seeking
manners are the shadow-Victim. When we learn to control the temptation to seek
pity for our situations, we begin to bring balance to our Victim archetype. Through
that balance, we learn to manage our fears and handle challenges in our lives.
Admittedly, it’s much easier to plea for the pity because that sympathy we
receive is a positive reinforce for our behavior. This archetype is such a
slippery slope, and difficult to bring balance to. Our brains don’t like to
exist in a state of cognitive dissonance – the mental stress of attempting to
deal with two or more conflicting thoughts or beliefs. When our Victim
activates our need for pity, we received the positive behavior reinforcement
for the actions that led to the pity response, and the beliefs/action that
stimulated our response become the preferred belief, therefore extinguishing
the cognitive dissonance the brain dislikes. Mental stress pushes us to get rid
of the source of discomfort and return the body to its preferred state of
equilibrium. Because our body can work against our mind/spirit in this way, the
Victim becomes one of the most difficult archetypes to balance.
Questions to ask yourself about your Victim today: Do I
always or seldom look to blame others for my circumstances? Do I feel powerful
more often or powerless more often? What do my feelings of power cause me to
do? How do my feelings of powerlessness cause me to act? Am I jealous of others
who always seem to get exactly what they want? WHY am I jealous of that?
We’ve reached the middle of the week! Keep on pushing
through, and remember that sometimes you just can’t control what’s going on.
Stay flexible and try to remember not everything that happens is meant as a
personal attack on you. Sometimes, it’s just best to shrug it off and get back
to the task at hand. If the situation persists, then face what’s going on and
try to find a solution. Keep on keeping on, as a dear friend said to me
Saturday night. Sometimes you’ve just got to keep on keeping on. I know you can
do it. I believe in you!
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